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Saturday, October 20, 2012

Ebilcorp War At a Glance: ED and AQW

Hey guys, I'll try not to make this long and boring.
Okay.  So the Ebilcorp War has finally finished.  I still don't understand why they had to pull off something as big as this for their birthday.  I was actually worrying that we wouldn't make it.  But there's me, the obsessed gamer.
But of course we made it, because there must be other people like me out there.  (The only difference is that they spend way more time on the computer.)  And now that it's over and done, I'm going to recap what happened in AQW and ED.
To be honest, in both games (actually, all six) it was more grinding that storyline/plot.  In AQW, Chairman Platinum steals Battleon.  That's about as plot-ish as it gets.  He replaces it with this (somewhat different) town, which in AQW is referred to as (/join) Ebilbattleontown.  It appears that Chairman P has brought his bros with him, unleashing a pack of Level 45 monsters throughout Ebil Battle On Town.
Unfortunately for him, those very monsters act like they are level 25.  That's how AQW won.  They were second in the winner's circle (yeah, how did HeroSmash of all games get there first?).  So after all that grinding and lots of dead monster heads, AE (well to get into the spirit, I must call them EC from here on) released another 800,000 monsters for the players of AQW to tangle with.  Either
1) AE (AAACK! It's EC) underestimated how many players AQW has or
2) They want all the players of AQW to drown in the sea of monster heads.
I don't know if Chairman Platinum supplied a dump truck with his renovation of Battleon.
Because of course AQW would be the best game to put this on, for every game that reaches 100%, in AQW you get a reward.  Eventually, that all added up to a full set of equipment, PvP Necklace (from ED- where else besides Pony vs Pony) and Pet (AQ Classic) included.  The only thing that was missing was a class.
(On a side note, I wish that the Golden Trobble could attack.  All it does is watch and occasionally jump while you get pwned by the Greenguard Basilisk.)

And as for ED, it wasn't that much different.  Kimberly (One-eyed Doll) finally hopped on the ED train and ended up there.  She's gotten fresh armor and an almost-similar iconic axe.  She had (and still has) missions for people to complete (which you should do, by the way.  It's a pretty hefty credit reward in all).
There were (emphasis on were) several Ebilcorp NPCs scattered around and outside Fortune City for the common duelist to harass and choke war points from.  When 20% of the War Bar was filled, Chairman Platinum decided to congratulate the ED community by coming out to fight in a suit that is supposedly supposed to give you +7 Defense and +3 Resistance, and yet did nothing against the oncoming horde of people who were tired of harassing the Ebil Hazard and Corporate Ninja and saw fresh meat at the sight of Chairman Platinum's silver (it could be real silver, he's rich enough) hair.  Never the less, Chairman P was one step away from being tortured by some Level 1 noobs who were casting Plasma Bolt (not really) when all of a sudden the war bar reached 100%.  Then, for some reason:
1) The EC employees who were getting preyed on (my word use is intentional) happened to have an airline ticket for a one-way flight out of Delta V that activated when the bar reached 100% so no one could hit (on) them anymore.
2) The Ebil Hazards removed their suits, became regular Hazards, and lost (some gained) levels somewhere between.
3) Chairman P was decimated from the players who wouldn't even let him sleep on the park bench during the night (yeah, international players) so he had to hand out big money for you to practically buy five Health Packs for him.  Maybe all the stores in Delta V now have a plaque that says something like "We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone", the obvious anyone being Chairman P.
4) Chairman P now does not stand up in ED (literally).  Well, he knows his place in society now.
5) Mr. Z (from MQ) does not happen to send the Chairman an airline ticket to get his ass out of Delta V
6) Alydriah does not give a shit about what happens to the Chairman.  Therefore, Baelius does not, either.
7) (Probably the most painful one for Chairman Porky's wallet) Chairman P must hand out these epic bikes, or else the player community will ____________________.  And to make it all worse, even the Level 1 Noobs who use Plasma Bolt have them too.


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